The Good, The Bad, and The UGLY

I've been realizing that this blog pretty much focuses on all the GOOD memories in our life and leaves much to the imagination regarding the BAD. I might mention some struggles here or there, but when I look back on these posts in years to come, I want them to match up with my mental memories. And as much as I will remember the good times, I know there will be some bad times that will stick with me as well. So, here's some UGLY for you...

I could have died this week. It came quickly and unexpectedly. And it was scary. How's that for ugly? I will put this experience at the top of the list of worst times, right along with my labor and delivery of Levi.

What started out as your average run-of-the-mill sinus infection ended with me in sheer agony, being in 2 hospitals, 2 clinics and seen by a total of 8 doctors. I now know that I have a SEVERE allergy to the sulfa family of drugs. I have learned that many people experience some sort of adverse reaction to these medications, but my reaction was so severe that it was life-threatening. The official diagnosis was Stevens-Johnson Syndrome. Type that in to Google Images if you're interested, but I'll warn you, it's not for the faint of heart. My body was covered in painful swollen hives/welts. They were in my scalp, on my eyelids, in my ears, armpits, palms of my hands, between my fingers and toes, are you getting the picture here? Here is a glimpse of what my ENTIRE body looked like.

These are my swollen legs.

This is my left side and left arm. As the spots on my arm, chest and shoulders spread, it ended up looking like I had a bad sunburn. But this made a sunburn seem like nothing.

Here is my stomach and right arm.

The doctors say that the very next step in my progression (which was happening quickly) was for blisters to form all over my body, followed by my skin literally falling off. Blisters would form over my eyes, causing me to go blind. I would have to be treated like a burn patient and could easily die. But they had a strong medication to try that would hopefully reverse the process. I'm now on a drug that suppresses my immune system (oh goody!... swine flu anyone?) in order to stop the reaction and the hives. I'm told that it may take anywhere from 1-2 weeks or 1-2 months for the red spots to go away. I also started peeling on my face today and am told my whole body may peel. So if you see me, I really don't have dandruff! Yet, today is my best day yet. I actually drove myself to the drug store to get some prescribed anti-itch lotion which is now my new best friend. I must say, it was a good little dose of humility for me, walking into that drug store with splotchy red marks covering my face, neck, hands (the only skin I left exposed!) , or sitting in one of the many waiting areas in doctor's offices where people stare and slowly move to the farthest away seat. It really has made me see other people in a different light and has encouraged me to have more compassion. Hmmm.. is there a lesson in all this???

Today, I'm thanking God for a husband who stood by my hospital bed in the middle of the night, who set his alarm regularly through the night to wake me for my meds, who took care of the kids and got them off to school (OK, so maybe I was yelling from the bedroom, "THE BUS IS COMING IN 2 MINUTES! YOU BETTER RUN!), who prepared meals, AND kept the house clean! Today, I'm hugging my kids a little more and thanking God for them and for my ability to care for them. And today, I'm thanking God for my life. The Good. The Bad. And the Ugly.